Marilyn left this evening. The moments in the airport were so familiar yet it was still filled with tears. Well, I did not cry. I am not that type of person who can cry that easily. I only cried at home when my sister left. Out of so many of my friends who left, I guess only one person made me tear.

I know it was hard for her to actually stay so strong until the moment she went down that escalator. She has been holding and hiding her emotions all this while. Seeing her burst into tears when she was hugging her grandma at home and her sisters, father and Pelvin in airport...... she was really leaving.

Maybe I’m immune to friends leaving the country, it’s not hitting in yet. YET! After all, Marilyn is my church going partner for the past 5 months or so, and she was always there whenever I needed her. I really meant the word WHENEVER. Am really gonna miss her.

She gave me a whole collection of photos before she left. One of the bunch was her birthday photos. And so many memories there.

******

Just the other day, I actually finally managed to convince myself that there is no point at all holding on to the feelings I have. Whatever I thought was in fact was just my own perception. Whatever I hoped for will never come true.

But...... should I have a but?

One thing is for sure, there is no more turning back to the good old times. Everything has changed.

EVERYTHING CHANGED.

I don’t know what to think now. I’m not being emo. I’m not feeling sad.

Just 不舍得.